james schmitt whats your last name

thumb_up thumb_down -24

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's the difference of a team of black people and a pile of shit? None. Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

thumb_up thumb_down -66

A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +39

There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

thumb_up thumb_down +35

If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Military intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A black man walks into a bar, to get a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops