do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

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Turtles

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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Why did the Asian man have squinty eyes? He was looking at the sun.

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So one time this woman was learning...

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The mets are 3-0 this season

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wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

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What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

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Baaaaaaahhhhhh

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Three black men go to the basketball courts one day hoping to play some ball. On the way there they see a homeless man with a sign that says "Homeless. Anything will help." However, since they were on there way to play ball, none of them found it necessary to bring cash, thus resulting in them walking by the homeless man without giving him any money.

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Gay rights

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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This is not a joke.

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If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

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ASSCHEEKS

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides to go to to Lowe's instead.

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Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

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Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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