ghjwASFDJHKJZFKLJFHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHA GGGG DG FUC K DISLIKE ME!

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If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

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Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

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Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped after getting raped.

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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james schmitt whats your last name

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A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

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How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

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why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

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A person walks into a store. He goes to a worker an asks "were is the potatos?" . The worker says, there on that shelf.

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What do you call 4 Mexicans hopping the border? 4 Mexicans in search of a better lifestyle from poverty.

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

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Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops