Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

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An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

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What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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-What did the gay guy say in Mcdonald's? -Ill have a number 10, with hot sauce and a large coke.

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What's a rabbit's favourite food? No-one knows, like humans, every rabbit has it's own favourite food.

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professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

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whats funny and has four wheels? A handicapped 11 year old boy getting raped by his father

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Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot. What are you, racist?

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dildo

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Why couldn't the girl charge her phone? The charger wasn't plugged in.

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Want to hear a joke? Womens rights

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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