professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

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why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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what happened to the man who ran straight into a brick wall he bounced off it, fell back, stumbled. he lifted his head up, looked at it, put his arm to his head. got up, groaned, dusted himself down, and walked towards the pub.

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How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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All of these jokes suck. Just saying.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

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Three black men go to the basketball courts one day hoping to play some ball. On the way there they see a homeless man with a sign that says "Homeless. Anything will help." However, since they were on there way to play ball, none of them found it necessary to bring cash, thus resulting in them walking by the homeless man without giving him any money.

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I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas. A: A specially modified coffin.

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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Knock Knock Who's there A pile up A pile up who

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

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A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist are eating at the same table. They are friends, and they do this from time to time.

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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james schmitt whats your last name

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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