One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

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What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

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What did the boy get from Penn State University? A College Degree

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What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

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Q: Why did the girl fall of her swing? A: She was hit by a rogue fridge. Q: Why didn't she get back up? A: She was quite badly injured.

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A very busty blond and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender asks with a smile, "What'll be today, pastor?" "Wine. please."

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why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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which of the following is right -the yoke is white -the yoke are white neither the yoke is yellow

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does your face hurt? yeah, neither does mine.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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Hello

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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Women's rights.

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How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

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An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

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What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

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Dani Barton = Stupid

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops