Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

Why did the chicken cross the road? cause' he was annoyed with all the stereotypcial idiots who insist he crosses the road for comical value

How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

There were a boy with cancer, and when a said "were" is because he is dead now

how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

Why did the man cross the inerstate? Well, he only got half way till he got hit by a truck, but he wanted to, it was suicide. oh ya, it wasnt a man it was a chicken. oh well. They are both dead.

Why did the black guy not have friends He was socialy awkward

What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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