What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh my gosh, my yard is on fire!!!

Do you think retarded people know that they are retarded? I don't know, you tell me. Wait a second....did you just call me retarded? They are clueless.

Why did the priest renew his...SHIT, A BEAR!!

Why did Jill come "tumbling" down the hill after Jack broke his crown? She fell running on a hill, essentially why Jack broke his crown.

Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights.

The WNBA.

Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

A joke

Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

cheese

A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

Global Warming.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

A African man and Hispanic man fall off of a cliff, which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground simultaneously, due to their equal mass and surface area.

What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

what is one black person on the moon? Anser: a problem What is all the black peaple on the moon...... a solution.

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

What do you call a women out of the Kitchen? Nothing because they shouldn't be

What's brown and sticky? A stick

What's red and green? A frog in a blender!

You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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