Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

William Raines.

Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

knock knock come in

What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

When is the right time to have sex with a 16 year old? After consent from her parents

Is Carly smart? No.

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Bring him to shore and, if you are certified, perform cpr.

why did abby get fired? cause she showed allie anti joke.com!!! :0

why did the man die? he got shot

Yo' mama's so fat, she has difficulty finding clothes that fit

9/11 was a shocking time for all of us.

Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

Roses are red violets are next thing you know my D*** is in you

Hair

why were there moans coming from the sandusky household Mike sandusky, was having sex with his beutiful wife, maria meanwhile Mike's cousin, jerry was sitting in a jail cell

son, you're adopted.

Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...