"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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whats a muslims name with a bomb to his chest Whatever his name is HAHAHAHAHAH

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What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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NEVER

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops