your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red Watermelons are green Refridgerator

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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Pain Olympics.

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

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What is a white supremacist's favorite color? It varies depending on the individual.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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