Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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The New York Giants

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari. A Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

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John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

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An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

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2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

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Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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