Golf.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

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why dont they make black forks

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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What happened to the gay guy? He died of aids...

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Who's gay? Justin Beaver

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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Why would it matter if they believed such a thing? Are you trying to screw me over? You know that I am very competent at making myself seem like a total jackass myself right? You got a point, it is not my role to help others in life, I just guess I enjoy repairing others, it sure is a hell lot easier than repairing myself, I just enjoy repairing things I can repair I suppose, now using them as my henchmen that's just worthless. The way I see it, people that wage wars, control others, indoctrinate them, and/or accumulate great sums of wealth to the point where, well its pointless, are all just overcompensating, trying to make up for something that they cannot repair within themselves. It is only natural, I mean we humans, if we lack something, we get a lot more of something else. Thanks, you are right about that whole "soul incident" as I call it, it is strange how people often seem to know each other a lot better than they know themselves, I mean I could at any time choose to quit, to become like others, to surrender my individuality, to "give up my soul" or rather the essence of what makes us unique. But you know, ill rather die than live as a servant for a society many would say I never truly learned to understand. Truth is, I will never accept it, if true strength stops arriving from within, its because people choose to seek it from others, the day I require the approval of others in order to sustain myself, ill off myself, that's not a real definition of existence as far as my opinion goes. I mean what are we worth to ourselves, if we become beings that base our so called value on what others think about us? We should focus on becoming those that spread joy and inspire others, rather than to seek inspiration and joy from others. Why? Because its a win win scenario, you cannot spread joy if you got none, you cannot inspire others if we have no inspiration, I guess you can fake it, sometimes until it becomes real, but that is mental-ism and not ideology (not that they are complete opposites, and if they are not opposites, they can work as a synergy) I guess I had forgotten about that, tell yourself that you are great enough, and you become great, excuse me, I am dead tired, its been hours, say, how are you doing?

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Two scuba divers are playing cards on the bottom of the ocean. One asks "have you got amy threes?" Then they both die from maintained exposure to the incredible pressure at the bottom of the sea. One left behind three children.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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