Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I f*cked your mom last night and she liked it. 8====D~~~~

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Whats more fun that a hooker - her mother

thumb_up thumb_down -43

knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -61

What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Shltskc gw? G

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

thumb_up thumb_down +28

'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

thumb_up thumb_down +24

There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops