When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

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What is a white supremacist's favorite color? It varies depending on the individual.

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you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

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What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops