What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

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when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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your mama's so fat... that's it

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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What do you give a black man for his Christmas? A gift that you feel would suit his personality so that he may draw enjoyment from said gift.

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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