A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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2 * 2 * 2 * 3 * 2417

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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What did the man say to the other man. Hi

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Cripples are lame.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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What's brown an sticky Shit

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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