A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

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My grandma's star sign was cancer, and it was really ironic how she died, actually... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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A Black Child just received his ivy-league diploma and hugged his dad.

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops