How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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Chris Brown walks into a bar. And then is politely asked to leave as the bar owner also happens to be the spokesperson for an anti-domestic violence group.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

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Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

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Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you worrying about the chicken? You just got shot.

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

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The young orphan boy had high hopes for this Christmas. When he woke up, he ran to the foot of the tree and saw a large box wrapped with seasonal wrapping paper. He looked at it to see that it was for someone else. The boy recieved nothing for Christmas and was later hit by a bus that had veered off of the road to avoid hitting a dog. The boy is now paralyzed and is extremely disappointed as to how his Christmas had unfolded.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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