-what does burglars afraid of? -cancer.

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hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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A gay man named pat played on a gay website with a child named Charlie

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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A blonde walks into a bar. Shes now in a coma.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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A circus clown climbs to the top of a five-storey ladder and dives into a foot-deep pool of water below. His neck is broken on impact. RIP Chuckles.

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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