Jack and Jill went up a hill to snort a little coke, Jack felt horny , so did Jill. But unfortunately Jack cant's maintain an erection no matter how turned on he is.

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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