Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Burp

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

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What's worse than blowing out 1 lightbulb Blowing out 2 lightbulbs

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops