What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Balboa. Watch as Apollo Creed`s nephews son is trained by Rocky Balboa`s grandson`s neighbor to participate in the new highschool musical will they win this years golden plate? Spoiler: No they did well but lost to Clubber Lang`s and Ivan Drago`s gay sons adopted lovechild`s ballet number. But people kept cheering "BALBOA BALBOA BALBOA!" As Rocky Balboa`s grandson kept yelling "ADRIAAN, ADRIAAAAAAN!" while a picture of Rocky`s grandchild is shown in the background together with the American flag. Moral: This script may or might not have been made for a quick cash in, anyway, its coming out the next radioactive winter 2705.

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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