John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

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Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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