Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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Whats the best things about 25 year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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I am a mime

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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what happened to the man who got hit by a truck driven by Obama? he died.

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

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What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

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What page are you on The gay page.

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2

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What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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