What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

a dyslexic boy prays to dog.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It doesn't matter, the only chuck that matters is Chuck Norris.

Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

Why did The Chicken cross The Road? The Chicken was a new drug dealer to town and he did a deal with The Road , the town's existing drug dealer (they used these nicknames to hide their identities), but then back stabbed him to try and take the whole area for himself. Money and Power, as always.

What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

Some say Helen Keller can't write a good book. You know what she said? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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