Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

hello

Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

What's big and messy? A big mess

How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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