How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock Knock! F*ck off

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what did the guy say on friday ? ah man im so glad its not monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday he then threw a horse at a plane while moonwalking on a star that was riding a duck that was on a rabbit. Sir jumpalot was working overtime as he had to pay for a free phone

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops