How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

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Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

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Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and my cousins? Nothing.

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops