A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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