A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

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Q: What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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