What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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A gay man named pat played on a gay website with a child named Charlie

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WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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