can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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