whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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Yes

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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woman's rights

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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