A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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FOX News: Fair and balanced

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why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

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Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops