What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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Indians

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What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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