A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

guess what? bannanas

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops