What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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