Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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GOODBYE

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guess what? bannanas

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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