Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

What did the American man say to his brother right before his brother's wedding? You should not get married because most likely your marriage will end in a horrible divorice, which will ruin the rest of your pathetic life.

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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