How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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Women's Rights

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Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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