Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

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I dislike old people.

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

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'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

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what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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What what In the butt

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

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why did the chicken cross the road

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How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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