What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

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whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

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What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

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what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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Magic Johnson has AIDS

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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Knock Knock, Come in.

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A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

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Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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