once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

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One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

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What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

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why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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no

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What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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That's what he said.

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i like potatoes But only mashed baked are a little bad they arent tasty. I like food good because food bad can really hurt me

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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