Once upon a time, there was boy. I saw this boy. So I sat on him.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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A man walks into a pole and freezes to death.

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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Jasper sucks.

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Whats black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white? A Nun falling down stairs

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cheese

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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69

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Dead baby jokes aren't funny, dead babies are though.

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Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

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Roses are red Violets are blue And so does your mom…

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CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? She was blind

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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