A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

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Black Poeple

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-Why did Sara fall off the swing? -I don't know, why? -She had no arms, knock knock -Who's there? -Not Sara.

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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Black people are innocent.

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Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

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Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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fart

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What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

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So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at rimes, refridgerator.

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Knock knock Whos there? D D who D's nuts!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

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a banana

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Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Why Because

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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