Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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How did the fat kid stop the bus? He didn't...

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Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

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A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms.

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A: make me a sandwich woman! B: your a sandwich.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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^that joke's not funny

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Black Poeple

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

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why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

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You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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