How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Yo mamma is so hairy that she had to shave

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Goat balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

AROUND

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops