what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

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What did the man with leprosy say to the prostitute? Keep the tip

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Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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What's big, black, wide, long, and has white lines all over it? A new highway road.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

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Why are african american people better than caucasian people at sports like basketball? Because african american people have more high-twitch muscle fibers. Which allow them to perform Explosion type movements better than caucasian people.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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what makes white men feel embarrassed and and ashamed? when they find out their girllfriend has been sleeping with a black man.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

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Eliza eh? Of you I do not know but at least you used the correct code yourself, I suppose Nero7 kept your existence hidden from most of us for a reason. This "point Zero" is no more, about time people got out of the fucking north pole anyways, he was buried there, as his identity and existence is better off kept secret from the outside world for reasons many, none the less because if he is found and identified, undesired company might track whatever loose threads he might have left, straight back to us and we are not exactly operating within the parameters of... Legality anymore. Listen, if you want to know more give me the code straight out (I could not care less about deciphering shit right now and we are leaving horseshit network anyways) And I will tell you what Major6 knows, because as far as the screams roaming these halls can tell, he is still alive, you just better be fast, my men and women are not exactly experts at keeping these people alive... Yet, but enough idle chitchat. If you are who you claim to be, you should have the code I need, bring it, and I will present you with the neccesary information... ...Fail to do so, and I suggest that you never address any of us again fair lady, while we can simply not be tracked down, the security here is... Do I need to say? Neo-Nero.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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