Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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Yo mama so fat even Dora couldn't explore her!

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A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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Scott

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Why did an abusive childhood affect the little boy's behavior? Beats me.

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Why Because

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

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What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

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Lacrosse

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

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What does a girl with no arms on a swing? Falls.

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If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? He was hit by a bus

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This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

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why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

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A man walks into a pole and freezes to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops