What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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how much fish could a chicken

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your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops