Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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9/11 my birthday

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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