Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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What did the American man say to his brother right before his brother's wedding? You should not get married because most likely your marriage will end in a horrible divorice, which will ruin the rest of your pathetic life.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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