Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Yo mama is so stupid... She didn't graduate high school.

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Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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hello i hav a growing interes in math and arithmetic especially when it involves pi if u are still reading this you either didnt realize that this was a joke or just didnt care but most likely it means that the first line interested or bored u and u wanted to find out wut the rest was u like????

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

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What is my name? I dont know

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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