a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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