he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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