Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

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Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

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What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Astyanax mexicanus, a subspecies of Mexican tetra that lives in a subterranean habitat and as such has structurally degenerate eyes that have atrophied over the course of evolution.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops