If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

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Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

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Whats worse then any minority? The fact they still exist.

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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If you are reading this you are a nerd

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why did a little boy have a black eye? Because his father is very abusive to him and his sister. They are beaten every dad after the father comes home drunk from the bar because his wife also the kids mother died in a car acciedent 1 month before this. Child abuse is not funny and neither is a dead mother.

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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