1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

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What do a black man and a dog have in common? They're both going to die some day.

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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Q. Whats brown and sticky? A. Poo

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

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Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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How was Charles Manson able to get women to kill for him? Because he was charismatic and intelligent.

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

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Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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Why did I laugh at a joke? Cuz it was funny

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops